"The best things in life aren't things." ~Art Buchwald

So we’re already a few days into the new year. Isn’t that wild? I literally just thought Christmas was like last week or something. I’m always amazed at how beautiful and magical the holiday season can be, and yet how fleeting. 

Just like that, another holiday is over.

I always find January brings the hope and anticipation of a new chapter and even the excitement of a new start. There’s always something fun about a fresh start–a chance to begin new things, make intentional choices, make different decisions with the knowledge that they’ll bring different results.

As I see everyone around me making and declaring their resolutions and their words for the year (don’t get me wrong, I like these things, too), I know one of the best ways we can declare our intention for the upcoming year and all that it brings is to make a promise to ourselves to actually be present in it. It’s really a conscious choice to be real and immersed in the good AND the bad–I can tell you from experience, sometimes you just have to move through the moments, and what better way to do it than by making a conscious choice to be present in it all.

You’re at a fresh start, sweet friend, and I’ve got 3 ways that you can prep your year for an unhurried pace. So let’s pop the kombucha and clink glasses to your commitment to slow down this year. 🥂

Elevate Daily Rituals

I lead a pretty ordinary life. I’m a homeschooling mom, homesteader, writer and business owner. I’m one of those high-achievers though, and if I didn’t have boundaries in place, my life could easily move into the train wreck stage. I say all of that to mention that I still have to live life just like everyone else. I empty the dishwasher, take out the trash, and find myself sanitizing the washing machine tub almost weekly because often our clothes have a tendency to smell like mildew from time to time (anyone got advice??). 

I have to do the mundane things just like you do.

But what if we thought of those tasks less as mundane and cumbersome chores and more as bountiful and abundant opportunities? What if, when you’re standing over that never-ending stack of dishes in the kitchen sink, you decide to burn a candle nearby, put on a favorite Spotify playlist, pull up those dishwashing gloves, and savor the next 20-30 minutes alone with your music and your thoughts? What would happen if the next time you decided to tackle that pile of laundry, you diffused your favorite essential oils, poured yourself an Earl Grey, and got lost in an audiobook for the next hour?

I can tell you from experience that simply elevating my daily rhythms and rituals does impact my ability to savor and be present in the moment and it quickly moves me to gratitude–gratitude for the clothing that keeps my little family warm during brisk winters or the good, slow, home-cooked meals enjoyed on all of those plates and dishes that I now have to load in the dishwasher (oof, more gratitude for a dishwasher, too!).

What if we could focus on our every activity as if it were its own reward? Give yourself permission to shift not just your mindset, but to change the relationship you have to your daily tasks and allow it to impact your ability to be present. Not only does your mindset change, but a heart change shortly follows. And this is where it’s at!

Take Time for Self-Care 

I know. Self-care talk is all the rage these days. Although I don’t subscribe to a lot of the varied versions of self-care promoted out there (I mean, a bubble bath is great, but that’s self-soothing, not self-care…), there’s a reason it’s so popular. I think we recognize as a culture that we’re always teetering towards these individual breaking points and we need constant reminders to pause and pay attention to ourselves.

Here’s the thing I learned after taking care of my husband for 3.5 years during his brain tumor journey–if you don’t take time to care for yourself often (heck, I think it should be daily), regardless of the season you’re in, you’ll eventually pay the piper for it. Whether it’s health (physical or mental), broken relationships, loss of time or money, the cost of not slowing down and tending to your own needs will eventually catch up to you. I know it did for me.

I spent almost all of last year in what felt like a coma–albeit a self-induced one. After coming out of the intense fog that was my grief after my husband’s passing, I started to busy myself to distraction–anything to avoid having to feel and navigate the new life in front of me, the one that didn’t have my husband in it. My health suffered, my emotions were like a dumpster fire, I ghosted good friends and people that love me, and checked out of my business entirely. It was not pretty.

But I did come out of it having learned a thing or two. Boundaries are essential and are the foundation of self-care. You have to know your limits and saying ‘no’ gracefully has to be part of your self-care practice. You simply can’t do all the things, nor were you ever meant to. Honestly, you shouldn’t even want to. That’s hard to hear for the high-achievers like me, but if I can ask your permission to hand you a bit of ‘tough love’ talk, here it is: the entire world is not on your shoulders, so stop acting like it is. You don’t have to join all the things, volunteer for all the things, believe in all the things, own all the things. Self care starts by knowing that your value is immeasurable and that caring for your mind and body are paramount to that value.

Make Connections With Others 

One of the many things I learned during my year off was that I really need people. We were meant to be in community. I think the pandemic showed us that we were designed, at the very basic, intrinsic level, to be in relationship with other people.

So, I’m an introvert, which means that I actually pick up energy in solitude and in being alone. Sometimes, a day full of errands or being in a busy, chaotic place can drain me faster than anything. I need to step away and re-charge by myself and do something that will refuel me–read a book, work on some brush lettering, nature journal, relax outside with some good music. After some time away, I’m ready to re-join humanity and reconnect with others.

Being an introvert though doesn’t mean I don’t need people. I very much do. I could tell you countless re-tellings of the people that supported my little family after my husband passed. Sometimes just a hug or a kind word was enough to wash me into a puddle–they were things I needed desperately and they gave me life during one of the most difficult seasons of my journey.

Wherever you are now, in whatever season you’re in, there are people that love you, care for you, and want to be in relationship with you. Opening our hearts to others, being real with who you are and where you are, becomes the stuff of real, authentic relationship. Those are the ones to treasure and the connections we want to make. 

Life is just too short for the other stuff. Commit to connect with others regularly and take the relationships that you currently have to another level. Your heart will thank you for it (and maybe theirs will, too).

Living slowly doesn't mean living without purpose; it’s actually the opposite really–an unhurried life is a purposeful life. It’s the permission and acceptance to be present in the daily movements of our lives and the lives of those we love. 

What is a year anyway, if not a series of moments all tied together in the journey of our life?

How will you choose to live all of those moments?

I pray that you find this upcoming year a treasure trove of focused intentionality, a discovery of simple joys in your daily rituals, and the year that you practice the purposeful care of your heart and soul. 

You matter and have immeasurable value. You deserve a life unhurried to savor all the good things to come.

If you’re ready to make shifts towards your first unhurried year, I’m super excited to share a free resources and tips with you through my regular newsletter and invite you to join me over on IG to share the progress you’re making towards an intentionally slow-lived life. Can’t wait to see you there!